My dear readers,

Answering Remaining Questions from Calvary Pandan Church Camp 2023 (7)

Question 1: Can we “forgive and forget” when there is no acknowledgement of wrong from the one who offended us? Can there be reconciliation when there is no apology or demonstration of a willingness to change from the other party?

Answer 1: Forgiveness begins within the heart. Every believer must forgive every sin committed against him because of Jesus Christ, his Lord. He experienced the forgiveness of God that cost Jesus Christ His life’s blood at Calvary. Based upon this experience, he must thereafter forgive all sins, iniquities and transgressions committed against him, no matter how costly and painful. God says He will not forgive him if he does not forgive. Matthew 6:14-15: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” The salvific experience of

receiving God's forgiveness which cost God's only begotten Son is the fundamental cornerstone of every believer’s forgiveness. For example, someone caused the death of the believer’s only begotten son. He begs the believer for forgiveness. If the believer says he cannot, then he is saying that his only begotten son is more precious to him than God's only begotten Son! That should be an impossibility in every believer’s heart.

With a forgiving heart, the believer is protected from the sin of unjust anger, bitterness and hatred that will eat his soul like a canker! However, when his heart is filled with a sense of forgiveness for Christ’s sake, the peace of God returns. His trust in God's sovereignty in his life is deepened. No matter how painful the experience, he knows that his heavenly Father will always do all things good. His prayer and worship of God will become more real. His faithfulness and trust in his God and Saviour Jesus Christ will be strengthened. He becomes more like God and his Saviour by his ability to forgive all transgressions.

If the offender is a sinner who refuses to apologise, the benefit of reconciliation that comes with being forgiven will not be realised. The relationship will not be healed. God is ready to forgive if a sinner receives Christ as his personal Lord and Saviour, but if he refuses to believe, he will remain an enemy of God.

Question 2: A church is made up of true believers, professing believers and unbelievers, so not all will have the same mind of Christ and understanding of Scriptures. How can we then love always, and love mutually, when we may not all be one in Christ?

Answer 2: The local church indeed comprises born-again believers, professing believers and non-believers. The Lord knew this when He gave us His holy Scriptures that addresses the same three groups of people.

The love of God is unconditional and sacrificial. We are commanded to love our neighbour as ourselves after we love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind. A fellow believer who receives your love of God will be encouraged and strengthened in his faith. For the professing believer, he may be saved from his hypocrisy because he has experienced God's love in his life through you. To the non-believer, he can be convicted that God's love in Christ is real as he has tasted the reality of this love through your love for him in Christ.

God’s Agape love is one-sided. It expects nothing in return from the person who is loved. A believer will keep loving even when persecuted, for this love resides within his heart, as God has given this love to all His children at the time of their salvation. Romans 5:5: “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”

Question 3: What practical steps and guidance would you give church members/welcomers if (a) an openly LGBT (self-identity as LGBT) person comes to Calvary Pandan on a Sunday, and is looking to understand more about Christ. Should we speak up directly against the LBGT movement? If so, when and how? (b) Someone who is very immodestly dressed turns up, identifies as a non-believer, and seeks to attend service. How would we balance potential distraction to others vs desire to minister? Would there be a difference in our approach to the above scenarios and if so, why?

Answer 3: All sinners can be saved. Some in the church in Corinth were homosexuals, but were converted to Christ. These need to be saved by Christ like all sinners. Therefore, they ought not to be treated differently. Receive them like we would receive any sinner in Christ. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11: “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” [Emphasis added]

Tactfulness and the leading of the Holy Spirit in sharing the gospel are always important in every believer’s life. Therefore, we must prayerfully help them come to know the truth, to deliver them from their sins. Whether we should mention their transgressions depends on the situation. This is a casuistic situation that must be handled sensitively. The aim is to help all sinners without exception.

If someone comes to the church immodestly dressed, we may gently ask them to dress modestly. If she is a female, then we should ask a spiritually mature female church member to approach her. There are certain dress codes for restaurants, specific events and places like the courtroom; there should also be a particular dress code for worship before God in the sanctuary.

Question 4: Dear Pastor, you have mentioned that if a child told the parents that he or she decides to give up being a Christian because he or she feels hypocritical to be one after so many years, it is ok to let the child go instead of continuing to be a hypocrite, but then would that mean that the poor child would be forever lost, unsaved and condemned eternally in hell? Shouldn't we continue to pray, correct the child, bring him or her back to the right path? As it is our love for them to be saved as well rather than giving up hope on him or her? I remember that Dr Tow also prayed very hard, and kept praying, for the conversion of his son to be a Christian.

Answer 4: The example cited was of a grown child in his late twenties who is gainfully employed but stays at home with his parents. He is not a teenager still under the tutelage and care of his parents. He is an adult and needs to be treated as one. He said he does not wish to attend church anymore as he had been pretending to be a Christian. He served and sang without a heart that is washed by the blood of Christ. His request was for his parents to give him his own space. The parents agreed. He should not be “forced” to attend church or be put on a guilt trip to attend to please his parents. The fact that he asked his parents’ permission to not attend church shows that he loves his parents very much. Letting children make their own decisions as adults is not giving up on them especially if the decisions are not what we hope them to be.

Allowing the grown-up son to decide does not mean the parents have given up on his salvation. The parents should continue to show love and invite him to attend church, especially on special occasions like Christmas Eve Praise Service, Good Friday service, or End-of-Year service. Praying for the son should never stop, regardless of his spiritual condition. Now that he has made known his real spiritual condition, it helps the parents pray more fervently and correctly.

Salvation is of the Lord. As parents, we sometimes forget that immersing our growing children in a Christian godly environment at home and in a church is not to encourage them to pretend to be believers even though they live among believers. It is meant to provide them with a godly environment and experience how good God is and how amazing the grace of God is in Christ. The holy witness of parents, supplemented by their church experiences, are to help them come to know Christ as Lord and Saviour. The parents pray and hope that by God’s mercies and through this new realization, the son might remember what he has learned growing up at home and in church, and come to truly know Christ one day.